Do It! Diction Post

Original Fill-ins

No one can see me, no one would stop me, no one could help me. They would just call the police, but it would be too late. My only regret is leaving everyone behind. She’d have the coffee on. There was a time during my search for a cure when I tried everything to stop including giving up cigarettes. The smell filled the room. I loved to drink a glass of scotch in the morning, to say cheers to my girlfriend after we’d spent another night together. I’d tell her now it’s going okay except for the poison. It’s going okay except for how much I miss her and her smile. Why? Why?! I’ve never been very good at saying goodbye. [From Joshua Ferris’s The Unnamed]

Opposites of Original Fill-Ins

No one can see me, no one would stop me, no one could help me. They would just call the criminals, but it would be too late. My only regret is staying with everyone. She’d have the coffee on. There was a time during my search for a cure when I tried everything to stop including giving up going cold turkey. The smell filled the outside. I loved to drink a cup of water in the nighttime, to say buzz off to my enemy after we’d spent another morning together. I’d tell her now it’s going okay except for the poison. It’s going okay except for how much I miss her and her frown. Why not? Why not?! I’ve never been very good at saying hello. [From Joshua Ferris’s The Unnamed]

Questions and Answers

1. Question: Has the tone changed? Answer: I’d say that the tone has indeed changed. The tone of the paragraph where I filled in what I thought would make sense is pretty much that of sadness. Whereas, the tone of the paragraph with the opposites of the original

fill-ins is more of anger and aggression.

2. Question: Has the meaning changed? Answer: I would say that the meaning has and hasn’t changed at the same time.  Both paragraphs kind of give a sense that the speaker has given up, possibly due to being diagnosed with a fatal illness, such as Cancer. At the same time, you might be able to say that the two paragraphs were written/spoken by two different people based on the tone and what was said in each,

3. Question: Has anything changed? Answer: In the long run, I’d say that nothing really has changed. Both paragraphs give the impression that the speaker has given up and may even commit suicide because they may have a severe disease, if you want to go deeper into it.

The Effect of the Change

So what was the effect of the changes made to the original paragraph? Speaking as a reader, I would say the emotion of the speaker. As I said in one of my answers before, the speaker of the first paragraph seems to have a sadness about them, whereas the speaker of the second one seems to be angry. The speaker of the first paragraph also seems to be lonely, unlike the speaker of the second paragraph who wants to be alone. As the speaker, I would say not much has changed, that I still feel like there isn’t any hope left. The search for the cure has been unsuccessful. The sickness remains and is progressively getting worse. What is left?